Painful Musings

I am sitting here at a friend's table finally updating my blog.

I have to say, "I am Tired!!" "
Tired of what?" you ask. I am tired of listening to people tell me how to be! It seems lately that everyone is putting their two cents worth in about how I need to improve. I am well and truly fed up!!
I know this sounds like the beggingings of a pity party, well I don't care I need to vent! So pull up a chair and join in, if you'd like.

What is it with our fellowmen who feel the need to change us, and offer advice (in love of course) on how we need to change or what we need to be? I feel like I am the scum of the earth at the moment all because of what people have said to me, about myself.

In the last couple of weeks I have been told that I am selfish, stubborn, arrogant, that my views are simplistic, my language skills need improving and on and on the list goes.
These thing hurt, and when I try to defend myself, or say I don't agree, then I am accused of not being teachable like the Bible calls me to be. If I retreat to lick my wounds and regroup, I get asked why I am so offended, why I am so upset. (hhmm I wonder?)

On the other hand I am also told that I fight too hard, work too much, that I don't know how to just be me, that I try too hard and I don't ask for help or let people in and that I need to just relax and breathe.

What the heck do people want from me??? I know I have faults, (huge ones) but don't people see that I am working on them, that I long to be more like Christ. I guess not!

I have to wonder if in the past I have been this brutal with others and if I am in fact recieving a taste of my own medicine...some would call this Karama...except I don't believe in that.

I am just like everyone else that wants to be loved and liked by people...but I want to be loved and liked without the advice, I want to be liked "Just the way I am" as Mr Darcy so famously says to Bridget Jones.
I guess the solution is balance. I need to weigh up the validity of these people's observations and fix what needs it and disreguard the rest of it.
But even more then that I need to go to God and let him be my yard stick.

So there you have it, an updated blog of painful musings!